I guess you can say I’ve been lost. It’s hard to explain in words exactly where I have been these past few months. Caught up in the idea that all my motives were pure and justified. Yet, here I stand humbly realizing that I chose to follow after myself. I chose to see my wisdom as the ultimate authority.
Yes, I was hurt and I caused hurt which ultimately led to becoming lost. It was right around the time that this major betrayal took place that I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt what my life’s purpose was to be. I look back and realize how I allowed this event to detour me from my purpose. How out of fear I refused to be comforted by the only One who could comfort me.
It’s Hard To Come Back
Taking the first steps back into right relationship with God are difficult. I feel shame, fear, and guilt over walking away and following after myself. It’s interesting that while coming back to my first Love has been difficult, at the same time it has been refreshing and comforting.
You Have To Start Somewhere
Its not about perfection or going back to the same old routines. For me its been opening myself up to healing by simply being and acknowledging the error of my ways. Asking for forgiveness. Cracking open my Bible again was hard as I didn’t know where to begin. I needed wisdom. I needed a foundation.
I started with music. The music created a balm that started healing the wounds. It made me desire to draw closer. For you it could be something else. There is no right or wrong way to come back.
It Takes Time and Discipline
Routine is my friend. I’m choosing to start out small. To bear my heart on this open blog. This is my journal. I hope that however you choose to structure your time with God it benefits you. Also, I hope that it bears fruit and gives others hope. My outlet is writing. Whatever yours may be-be open to what is laid on your heart. The cleansing processes begins as you obey.
Start small, stay consistent, remain open to new possibilities.