Messing up is never something we’re taught is good thing-hence, punishment. Those of us born with Type A personalities ready to take on the world see messing up as a sign of weakness. Our lives are shaped by the choices we make and they better be good ones!
I’m so good at not messing up that I try to fix everything around me that is broken. I literally can’t stop fixing things. Particularly people… So I started to question my intentions on the choices I was making. Were they admirable-sure! Did my choices benefit others? Yes! But why was I making them?
When you’re constantly trying to fix others things or people- you are constantly busy. So when I started reflecting on my true intentions I began to see a pattern. A pattern of finding my worth and value in how others viewed me. If I was unhappy with my performance I’d beat myself up and try even harder the next day. If I made a mistake I wouldn’t forgive myself. Why? Because if what I did wasn’t perfect or right for everyone then I wasn’t perfect.
Even though I have this awareness I still fall into the trap. There is nothing wrong with wanting to help people or getting involved. Sometimes you may find that your motives weren’t entirely pure but can you adjust course and make your motives correct? Absolutely! You’ll be grateful you did.
Messing up is one of the best ways to grow. Having awareness after a mess up to find the nuggets of truth can be challenging but entirely worth it. Type A’s generally have a hard time resting and meditating and its a practice I still need to get better at. For me, writing is my way of processing what I’ve learned.
Cheers to you as you sit down, process, and grow from your mistakes. Value the lessons you’ve learned from eating dirt after a bad choice. I want to celebrate that I’m human and that i’m still growing up. Thank God for another day of learning and having the choice to get better everyday.
Ask yourself: “Why am I doing what I’m doing?” Know your why. Sit in the hard places that are sensitive to the touch. Be vulnerable with yourself. Share those vulnerabilities with those you trust. Not everyone has earned the right to hear your mess. Stick with those who have and be open to new people down the road.