Finding You Again

Have you forgotten the person you thought you wanted to be? This week I had quite the blast from the past. It awakened many questions for me. What were my hopes and dreams when I was younger? Have I accomplished any of them? Do those hopes and dreams still resonate with me? If they don’t resonate for me anymore, what hopes and dreams do I have for myself?

For the better part of the day I was stuck in an endless loop of questions and confusion. It  felt easier and more comfortable to stay in my little pity party. There was a comfort in the confusion. Because trying to find my way out of the confusion felt way too painful.

At any moment we have two choices: Stay confused and overwhelmed or figure out what we want and the things we have control over right now. Many of us stay stuck because we don’t believe we have power to make a choice in the midst of confusion.

Here are a few techniques I use to get unstuck even when it feels more comfortable to stay that way:

  1. Get into the present moment. You can do this a couple ways. Hold an ice cube in your hands for a few seconds. Use all of your senses to describe what is happening in the present (i.e. the chair is soft, I smell pine from the candle lit on my mantle, etc.)
  2. Stop the reminders. Certain music, movies, conversations, etc… can trigger endless reminders and keep me stuck. Minimize or better yet stop all of these as much as possible.
  3. The Serenity Prayer- “Lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.” One thing we always have control over is our attitude about a given situation. Usually choosing gratitude for lessons learned can help break a funk. Go through your situation and find one to two things you can have control over and exercise that control.
  4. Try something you’ve always wanted to try. Even if it doesn’t go perfect you at least tried something new and thats a huge step forward!
  5. Develop a self-care plan: https://socialwork.buffalo.edu/content/dam/socialwork/home/self-care-kit/self-care-assessment.pdf

You may have lost sight of your dreams and your identity. The good news is you’re still there and you can find out who you are and what lights you up again! To kickstart the process you have to do the opposite of what feels natural. Use the steps above to get out of your funk, take control of the things you can, and build a brighter future where you are fulfilling your dreams!

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