Life Ruiner

I love the sound of my feet walking away from things not meant for me

Life Ruiner, thats my nickname at home lovingly bestowed upon me by my now 11 year old. Although that title seems to be leaching its way out into other domains of my life and relationships. Because knowing what you want, asking for it, and making it happen is not the norm. None of us like boundaries even if we say we do or that we want them. Why? Boundaries are inconvenient.

My definition of a boundary is deciding what is ok and what is not. People who always want or expect something from you (including yourself) won’t always like the inconvenience. We prefer to get our way.

I’m in the process of finally making my dreams come true and that means getting very clear on what I want and following through on it- even when it hurts. I felt like giving into my people pleasing nature, stuffing my feelings, and making the world a nice place for others. Except I’ve done that for a really long time and it hasn’t helped me live the vibrant life I know I want.

You can’t make everyone happy. Knowing what you want and asking for it will always cause turbulence in relationships, careers, and social activities. But you have to know who you are and stay true to that. The mid-life crisis is real, no joke! I’ve found that it happens because people disconnect from themselves in order to follow social norms and make everyone else around them happy. Nothing is wrong with loving on others but it can become a crutch we lean on in order to hide from what is really in our hearts.

Getting to know yourself is scary, plain and simple. It requires thought and action. It upsets the homeostasis of our worlds. We have to get our minds out of autopilot. You have to know why you do what you do, who you are, and the impact you want your life to make in this world. We were all designed for this time and place for a reason. Not to keep everything status quo but change the world for good. If you’re disconnected from your passion, identity, and purpose you not only rob yourself but your family, community, and world of your gifts that could have changed their lives.

Live intentionally. Get off autopilot by doing one new thing a day. Upset the homeostasis. Do something, but don’t just stay where you are accepting life as it comes. Get a little messy, try some new things, and find yourself in the process. I assure you when you’re more connected with yourself, you’ll be more connected to others.


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