Our needs, hopes, fears, differences, hardships, and transitions make up a part of every day
lives. Being a couple means sharing all of those together and a big part of making a
relationship work is being able to communicate them effectively with one another. Many
couples reach out to a therapist because they desperately want to connect with their partner
but don’t know how. Individually, we may not even know what we want our how to
communicate that in a way our partner can understand.
Working with many couples since beginning my career in counseling in 2011, I’ve found the number one reason for seeking counseling is communication! Learning to communicate with your partner is more than the tit-for-tat, I’m right-you’re wrong. It’s about understanding the needs that drive our thoughts and behaviors. Awareness of our internal processes is key to effectively communicating to our partner how to support and understand us.
I work with couples to build a solid foundation as friends. Getting back to a place of connection and understanding. We work to build a culture in the relationship of positivity, grace, fun, and nurturance. From there we begin to dive deeper into our personal and relational needs on an individual level. Communication is built as a couple through the understanding of ourselves personally from a bigger perspective. Couples will then be able to reach out and connect with their partners in a more meaningful way. Instead of only interpreting our partners behavior from our own internal lens, we begin to create a common “language” that helps us recognize the love behind fear and anxiety
Fighting is not a bad thing- but does your fighting get resolved? We don’t want issues to pile up under the rug anymore. Together you will learn to communicate your differences and struggles with one another in a way that you both feel heard and understood, and ultimately find a way to still connect even in times of gridlocked conflict. When working with couples I acknowledge the fact that both partners are very different people. Which is a good thing! In many ways we balance out our partner if we use our strengths and differences as a tool for connection instead of a weapon.
What we perceive, we receive. If I believe my partner loves me and has my best interests at heart I can recover from conflict much quicker than if I believe my partner doesn’t care about me. Together we will untangle the belief systems that shape our perspectives of our partner, family, friends, and worldview. Which of those belief systems are getting you closer to the levels of connection you desire and which ones are keeping you in patterns of disconnection? When I look at my partner do I see his or her strengths or failures?
Throughout the course of our time together we will weave in shared dreams for the future.
What keeps that sense of awe and wonder in a relationship? How do we continue to grow and
learn together? Do we make plans for the future in a way that brings us closer? Are we finding
hope and excitement for what is to come?
There is no straight line of perfection from start to finish in couples counseling. Healthy
communication takes time and practice. My hope is that our work together gives you a sense
of hope for the future of your relationship as we work to build a new, more secure foundation.
I specialize in high-conﬂict couples, healing after an affair, and sex therapy. I know things may feel frustrating and hopeless when you ﬁrst start researching counselors but there is hope for you and your partner.
© 2018 Sonya Jensen . Trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners.
A Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist Associate in Georgetown, TX.